do you have a crush?

idk im kinda picky

heres my perfect girl checklist:

  • is a girl
  • breathes

I just picked up the phone in front of my mum and said “hello is that the butthead police? I’ve got a new case for you”

just hanging out

just hanging out

these are my instructions too

these are my instructions too

i was gonna take a photo of me with biscuits but i ate the biscuits and forgot

paging dr pen

paging dr pen

300lbteen: Today in english we anal literally all i do in english

300lbteen:

Today in english we anal

literally all i do in english

what a dumb cat though

what a dumb cat though

when I was 12 I tried to woo a girl by saying she was “cuter than a sugared plum”

yeah

embracing my inner fish

embracing my inner fish